Thursday, January 19, 2012

What 90's wrestler would AL West teams be?

Texas Rangers
After the Rangers 'close but no cigar' performance in the past two World Series, they have to be perennial bridesmaid Lex Luger. He was in some marquee matches in the 90's; Royal Rumble '94, Wrestlemania X. Even with all this success, the Lex Express never managed to bring home WWF gold. Just like Ron Washington's Texas squad. They've managed to make big headlines (good and bad) and appear in the fall classic, but have yet to win that elusive ring.

Seattle Mariners
The Mariners had a very intimidating pitching staff last year, featuring King Felix, the newest Yankee Michael Pineda, and, at one point,  hilariously named Doug Fister. However despite this intimidating rotation, lost 95 games. So while appearing intimidating, they packed little punch. This makes them Adam Bomb. A guy who was a large intimidating ring presence, yet achieved absolutely no notoriety or success.

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.
The Angels are a team that has spent some serious cash this offseason, bringing in big time free agents C.J. Wilson and greatest hitter on the planet/also hilariously named Albert Pujols. They also have relied on the guile of manager Mike Scoscia for much of their recent success. For these reasons, they can be none other than Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase. A guy who out witted and out smarted opponents, DiBiase was a wily competitor. He also was part of the most racist storyline of the 90's when he owned hired his slave servant Virgil.

Oakland Athletics.
Finally, I come to the Oakland A's. They are a team that has seen some success in the earlier part of the decade, but has largely been mediocre. Some years they are pretty decent, some years not so much. They manage to fly under the radar without much fanfare. They are Double J Jeff Jarrett of the 90's. He was ok. Not good, not great. Just J-E double F, J-A double R, E, double T. 

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