ZOMBIES!!

I've been reading the book World War Z (Yes, mostly because the movie is out, deal with it), so I've had zombies on the brain (not literally, although I do think I would have a tasty, tasty brain). I thought with this post I would explore some Major League Baseball's walking dead. Guys who have shown no signs of life in several years, but somehow slowly saunter out of the dugout moaning in 2013. 

Vernon Wells. Zombie since 2011. 

Vernon Wells has tried to come back from beyond the grave several times but always manages to get pulled back with the undead. After alternating brilliant seasons (2003: .909 OPS; 2006: .899 OPS) with disappointing ones (2007 : .706 OPS; 2009: .711 OPS) with several seasons bouncing in between, Vernon cemented his place among the damned in 2011. He's had a few good 2 weeks runs, but hasn't managed an OPS above .682 in the past 3 seasons. 

Placido Polanco: Zombie Since 2012. Polanco has managed to put up some big seasons in his career, his 2005 (.331/.383/.447)  and 2007 (.341/.388/.458) seasons especially come to mind. He's been around the league, bouncing between the Cards, Phillies, and Tigers before settling in Miami this year. Placido joined the ranks of reanimated brain eaters in a slow drop off since 2007. But I can only really fairly call him a zombie since 2012, when he finished the year with a wRC+ of 71 (league average is 100). He seems to have really shed any sort of  human form this year and become a full fledged ghoul, bottoming out with a wRC+ of 57.

Yuniseky Betancourt. Zombie since forever. Betancourt has been nothing but a maligned walking corpse since his major league debut. In his very best of seasons 2006 and 2007, he was a slightly below average hitter and an average fielder (according to Fangraphs fielding tool). It's been been a black hole of terrible pretty much ever since, never eclipsing a .700 OPS since. He has even managed a .579 OPS so far in 2013. 

Ichiro Suzuki. Zombie since 2011. Ichiro has been depressingly consistent since 2011, he seemed to get a bit of a spark after being dealt to the Yankees in 2012, however it didn't quite carry over to this year. He still holds some value as a player because his defense is still above average. However at the plate, he joined the living dead quite suddenly. His free swinging approach really hampers his value now that he can't slap any pitch for hit. His batting averages have remained somewhat respectable, but his inability to get on base in another manner (OBPs of .310, .307, and .307) and his total lack of power ( SLGs of .335, .390, and .346) have made him a one trick (zombie) pony not worth riding. 

Nice guys finish last.

“Where have all the bastards gone?” – Green Day, Letterbomb.

Watching the Yankees offense lately has become more of a chore than a leisurely evening activity. It’s little more than an exercise in futility and frustration.  They suck. Hard.

It’s a pretty drastic change from the Yankees I’ve known the two decades of my fandom. They were always characterized by players like Paul O’Neill, or Nick Swisher, or even Bobby Abreu. The Yankees would wear you down. Take a pitch, foul a couple tough sliders off, work a walk. The Yankees would make a pitcher throw 60 pitches through 3 innings, then pounce. The Yankee teams I knew may not have always great pitching. They may have had some defenses that rivaled beer league softball teams, but they could always hit.

Look at the team now. Vernon Wells, Ichiro Suzuki, Chris Stewart, Jayson Nix. A conglomerate of walking has been corpses, or shrug inducing never weres.  This brings me to my real question.

Are you sure you don’t want Alex Rodriguez back?

He’s an absolute tool. He got caught cheating in every facet of his life. He’s lied. He’s cocky. He’s out of touch.  He says the wrong thing. He slaps the ball out of Bronson Arroyo’s glove.  He seems to shrink in the spotlight.

Dude can still hit.

Is he the once in a generation masher he once was? Not even close.  Is he better than the alternative? You bet your gentle puritan sensibilities he is.  The last 3 years he’s put up OPS+ of 123, 119, 112. All above average. Jayson Nix career high is 95. David Adams looks like an over matched rookie. The less I say about Reid Brignac, the better.

A Rod is not going to win any popularity contests. He is never going to be likable. Who cares. I don’t watch baseball for examples of a solid moral fiber. I don’t look to athletes as beacons of citizenship and heroics. You want a hero? Go to a police station, hospital, or fire house. Vernon Wells seems like a hell of guy. He’s hitting .118 in the past 30 games. Bring me the jerk.

Baseball is about winning. If I’m picking my team, I’ll take Ty Cobb, Pete Rose, and Manny Ramirez. You can have the nice guys. 

Congrats to Alexi Ogando!!

Congratulations Alexi, you have the worst face in the world.

Neglectful Me

I haven't really written anything in a while, to be honest there hasn't been much to inspire me. Dozens of guys have reported to spring training in the best shape of their lives, dozens more are just back in the same shape they were in in October. I spend most of my days at work reading updates and reports, flipping through spring training pictures, grinding my teeth in jealously as I subject myself to the pictures sunny, warm weather in Arizona and Florida.  I do, however, take solace in the fact that the start of spring training signals the inevitable approach of summer.

It's interesting to take a look at the career crossroads that many players approach this time of year. Both Jorge Posada and Jason Varitek have ended their long careers his offseason. They were two of the most central figures of the sometimes intense, sometimes violent, but always entertaining Yankees- Red Sox battles of the early 2000's.  They each symbolized the intensity that always came through in those games. Two images that will be eternally etched in my brain from those games are Jorge Posada's look of triumph and the corresponding fist pump after an RBI double off of Pedro Martinez. Equally symbolic of those games is the image of Jason Varitek shoving a fist full of catchers mitt in Alex Rodriguez's face. I guess it is all a bit of a trip that there are players whose entire careers I have watched who are starting to retire.  Means I am starting to get old.

While these catchers of my youth-college years begin to retire. A new generation begins to emerge. Guys like Jesus Montero, Bryce Harper, and Mike Trout are going to be the names that kids of the future grow up with, wear their t shirts, ask for autographs, and memorize stats. It's the first time I am realizing how cyclical this all is. Guys comes up, play, get old, retire. It's been happening for ten decades. For one generation Ted Williams was the guy they grew up with and Jim Rice was the young up and comer who made them feel old. For another Don Mattingly was their childhood hero and Andy Pettitte was the player who came along to appreciate as another man with a different skill set in life that is to be appreciated and not necessarily worshipped.

Growing up as a kid in then 90's the Yankees were my religion and Derek Jeter the pope. Now that I have become assimilated into the "real world", I no longer feel the same reverence for ballplayers, I cheer, I am still emotionally involved in every win and loss, but I can't say the players themselves are heros of mine. Just another guy in the world, who happens to be good at something that I am not. Hopefully the best collection of those guys end up on the team I cheer for, but that's about the extent of my reverence these days.

Random Player of the Week: Eric Plunk

When I think of the baseball card collection I had as a kid, Eric Plunk is one of the first guys I think of. It's gotta be those glasses. What a look, man. 

Anyway, Plunk played 14 big league seasons, for the A's, Indians, Yankees, and Brewers, with some actually respectable numbers for a reliever. An ERA a tad under 4,  a K/9 rate of 8.45, and unfortunately a BB/9 rate of 5.06. To be honest, the stats don't matter. Look at those effing glasses. The Wild Thing would be proud. 

Pittsburgh Pirate A.J. Burnett?

Apparently the Yankees and Pirates are talking about a swap involving A.J. Burnett.

As a diehard Yankee fan all I can say is: Oh, please, Oh, please, Oh, please, Oh, pleeeeaaase!!

After a somewhat inconsistent, but overall very decent 2009 debut with the Yankees, that helped bring the 27^th World Championship to the Bronx, Burnett has been nothing short of a disaster. He has posted back to back ERAs over 5, with nearly matching FIPs of 4.83 and 4.77. His walk rates are consistently near the tops in the American League. He has made a run for the Bizarro Triple Crown of Pitching (leading the league in walks, HBP, and wild pitches) several times in his career.

When I think of A.J. Burnett, my first thought is of a game in 2006 that I saw him pitch in Toronto. He was, in a word, electric. His fastball was sitting at 98, touching triple digits; his curveball was buckling knees all afternoon. He was damn near unhittable.  It’s a shame that a guy with that much talent and potential was never able put it all together to be the dominant pitcher he could be.

My second thought is to the 2009 World Series, where Burnett pitched two games. A 7 inning, 9 strike out, 1 run on 4 hit gem for a win, and a 2 inning, 6 run clunker. THAT is how I have come to know Burnett. A guy who on any given day has the ability to shut down any lineup in the majors, but also on any day could be in the showers by the 3^rd.

I think a trade away from the bright lights and lethal lineups of NY and the AL East, to the cozier pastures of the NL Central would be a great revival for Burnett’s career. It could be a win, win situation.  

Anything that Yankees get back aside from some minor salary relief would be a bonus. With 7 current starters, the Yankees need to free up some roster and payroll space. Burnett would be my personal choice as the ideal pawn to be moved. Even with the Yankees having to eat 75% of his contract.

Hopefully something gets done within the next few days, as spring training is a mere week away. 

My Favorite Player: Rex Brothers

My new favorite major leaguer is Rex Brothers.

What. A. Name.

It’s a name that invokes power and prestige.

It’s 30% oil tycoon, 45% soap opera star, and 50% rodeo clown. Yes, Rex Brothers is 125% man. 

He is a man that can walk into a hotel bar, pick out the fairest young lass there, point a finger and an ever so dangerous wink, say “Rex Brothers…let me buy you a blueberry martini”, and she would helplessly melt into his hands.

Women want him, men want to be him. Max Power is jealous of his name. 

The Most Interesting Man in The World takes French cooking lessons from Rex Brothers.

To all the Colorado Rockies fans out there, I am truly jealous of your opportunity to cheer for such a man on a daily basis.